Dealing with Loneliness.

Throughout my life I have struggled with loneliness. In half of the cases it was the constant feeling of being a burden to everyone I met, and immediately backing off the minute I'd feel that they've given me a sign that I'd overstayed my welcome. Other times it was that same feeling, just with family members. I tend to keep to myself most of the time, and only spend time discussing serious topics with only a handful of people whom I consider close friends. Loneliness can hit at any time, whether you're alone at home or surrounded by people. When it comes you feel this wave of melancholy wash over you, and you just want to leave. Sometimes it can affect your mood for the rest of the day, and sometimes you wake up with it sitting on your spirit. It's an uphill battle, one where you feel as if you are completely alone in this world.

If I can give one solid piece of advice to anyone going through a rough time with loneliness, it would be this...

It will get better. Eventually. For now learn about people, and more importantly, learn more about yourself. Co-workers gossip about you at work? Huddled up n groups and whispering, throwing unnecessary shade all of the time? Friends or family making you feel like hanging out with you is a chore? Let it go! Rise above all pettiness and learn to be content in your solitude. "Be not of the world" is one of the realist lines from the Bible. Take this time to focus on making yourself a better person, making your surroundings uplifting and pleasing to your senses, and weed out ALL negativity in your life. Change up your thoughts and outlook to a positive one! Try to think one positive thought each day when you wake up. Take this time to focus on making you happy, and eventually the right people will come into your life who will cherish ever moment spent with you. 

Stay strong, and choose happiness.

...and I'm BACK!!!

I'm Back! Good grief, it's been a minute since I've blogged anything! So much has changed since the last time I've posted. Now that my schedule is a little more structured, I feel like it's time to devote more time and energy to this space and see where it goes. My right brain has been dying for some activity, so this should help a lot! So be prepared for regular content, preferably about two or three times a week! So if you're reading this, stay with me. There was a Drake/Sam Smith joke waiting for someone to bring it to life in that last sentence. Have at it kids!

Basic Wardrobe Essentials

Back to Basics by alucardcheeze featuring a white dress

     As far back as I can remember, buying clothes was never about cultivating a style or compiling a wardrobe. It was a simple process that consist of five parts: It's cute, it fits, it's affordable, it's trendy, I'm buying it! Spending countless hours (and dollars) on trendy clothing left me with a closet full of clothes that I would eventually grow out of in size as well as taste. As this happens I also found that I would fall short of the basic pieces that I would need. I felt had a body without a skeleton. Yeah I know. Then I'd recall the shopping trips of my childhood. My mom would go several times a year to rebuild all of the basics as I grew in height, weight, and age. She knew that Although I would want to have the cutest and the latest to got to school in and stunt on those other girls in the hallway, I needed to have all the basics as transitional pieces. It was a lesson in learning how to dress, how to have personal style, and how to work with what I've got. The classic lesson on fashion vs. style.

     Now that I'm almost 30 I find that as my personal style develops, the most important thing to do is to build a wardrobe based off of the essential pieces. Therefore all of the basic pieces can serve as a foundation for both wardrobe and personal style. Which in turn would save me more money in the long run. 
     
     On my journey I've found more and more women who have faced this same dilemma at some point in their life. The struggle to be chic as well as have everything they need. The list below was compiled with staple items that you should have and update regularly within your wardrobe. This is the list that I've come up with so far. Although this covers the bare minimal, please to add or remove as many items as you wish. Remember, this is your own personal list. Have fun, and Happy Shopping!

• Basic Tees (black, white, grey)
• Blazer
• Leather Jacket
• Crisp White Shirt (collar)
• Little Black Dress/ Little White Dress
• Camis (black, white, grey)
• Loose Tees (black, white, grey)
• Black Pencil Skirt
• Black Cigarette Trousers
• Jeans (blue, black, white)
• Classic Pump (black, nude, white)
• Fun Statement Piece
• Sunglasses
• Well Fitting Undergarments
• Dressy Blouse
• Boots
• Flats
• Basic Conversion Dress
• Black & Nude Bra
• Strapless Bra
• Swimwear
• Peacoat
• Cardigan
• Sweater
• Panties
• Robe
• Sneakers

I am Burrito.

The following is a conversation held via text between 6:01-6:24 on 8/16/2014. The two main protagonist: My sister-in-law (who we will call "A") & myself. I am sure this will amuse someone and brighten up their day. This is the type of conversation that only friends can have. This is also the types of conversations that two grown women who are close can have with one another without feeling judged. Expect more of these in the future.

And now, I give you...

"I am Burrito."

W: I know you called earlier. What's up?

A:  Nothing

W: ........

A: lol I was just bothering you

W: .........

A: I calls you on accident yesterday and on purpose for no reason today.

W: ...........................

A: Hi :D

W: TACO BELL IS AMAZING AND WRONG AT THE SAME TIME

A: D (her husband/my brother) says I should be a burrito by now

W: Can you be cookies? I mean, like, can you turn into cookies?

     Because if you could do that and then teleport that would be amazing!

     But then you'd be dead so...I guess that's not so amazing after all. Unless you can come back to life!

     Because if you could do all of that then I'd have to eat you. Which comes out so wrong but...well...you'd be cookies and I'm fat.

A:  Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      I'm going to publish your text

      That sounds like a great plot for a novel

      Or leave it as is call it a poem and entitle it " I am Burrito"

W: DO IT!!!!!! Then I'll ask that on FB; " Would you eat your  in-laws if they were your favorite food?"

     Because I'm not sure if you'd stand a chance if you were a sub sandwhich.

A: It's okay, I would understand.

W: Glad somebody does!

Fin!

Secrets in Silk Bonnets

                                

 

Hi everyone! I am actually excited about a new section I will be introducing today. Please feel free to read the following in a husky voice.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you...

"Secrets in Silk Bonnets."

     The SSB's will be a series on this blog where I will talk openly and candidly about my natural hair journey. I will share stories, routines, tips & tricks, and information about all of the products I use. Being inspired by other women's stories and the natural hair community as a whole is what got me thinking about doing this. The support that we give each other is unlike any that I've ever seen in an online community. We tend to learn from self discovery as well as each other. For the record, I won't say that everything that I do is the right way. I simple just want to share everything that I've learned about my hair over the course of 9 months. Hopefully my stories will inspire another person on this planet whether they are natural or plan on it. Stay tuned folks, more shed hairs and curly afro's are coming your way!

Stop. Trashing. Black. Beauty!

*Disclaimer*: Look, because I know that not every black man does this,  the following rant is directed to your raggedy brothers-in-gender. So if you are gulity of this, I need you to chill and spread the word to the ones who are (guilty).

I need some of my black men who will read this to move a bit closer to your screen and read the following very carefully.

Stop. Trashing. Black. Women.

Let me explain...

     As a black woman, I already feel as if I have to battle every single day with you fools to be treated as an equal and not as an object. I already have to fight against stereotypes that have been placed upon my head by both society and the black community. I already have to carry the pains of our past on my back just because of the color of my skin and what's between my legs. You would think that one would be proud of all the things we've overcome, as a people as well as a gender. One would think that you would actually treat us as the queens. That you would value our beauty in it's myriad forms, as so many of you claim to do.

     Yet I still hear you, black man. I still hear you criticizing our hair, our looks, our skin. Talking about what's wrong with us, why you aren't attracted to us. Telling us what you want to look like. Your vision of the perfect black woman is as confusing and ever changing as the stairways at Hogwarts and I'm tired of it. Let me tell you how I feel and what I don't like. 

     What I do with my hair, face, and skin is my prerogative. I don't care if you just heard Bobby Brown singing that in your head. I do not care about what you think I should do with myself. I do not care about what you prefer. I do not like the fact that no matter how we present ourselves to the world, you still use words such as "insecurities", "lack of confidence" and "self hate" to describe how you think we feel on the inside and how you think that projects itself on the outside. I don't like the fact that you make us feel like circus animals when you see something you either do or don't like on us. You have no right to judge me simply because I don't live up to your personal standards. Much like your gender, there are too many things that we have to battle on a daily basis in our society. Yet, instead of making us feel beautiful no matter what we wear or lifting our heads when they hang low, you trash us on all fronts. You make us feel as if nothing we ever do is right, from our dress to our demeanor. 

This is but one square in the large quilted blanket that is misogynoir. Treat us better, no matter how we look.

Meeting in My Bedroom

Yes, welcome to my bedroom.

     The purpose of this blog is to create a personal space where I can dump all of my personal musings, rants, and adventures as a woman. Call it a dairy/journal, scrapbook, think space, bedroom, or anything else you can think of. The choice on how you view this blog is up to you. I will choose to use and/or view this space as a bedroom. As space where I can  freely express myself on a more personal level. A creative space with pillows, music, notebooks, t.v's, and bookshelves. You may not agree with everything that will be said on here, but hopefully you will enjoy your time here.

So grab your favorite snack and beverage of choice, and get cozy. It's about to get....interesting. Or not.